Your judgments will be about both the frivolous and the important. If you play cards you’ll compare your arithmetic skills to the person who adds their score the fastest. If someone’s kid achieves something, you’ll compare that to whatever your kids have achieved and you’ll rate your ability to parent on that flimsy evidence. You’ll think of how well you’d know your material if you would have paid more attention in school. You think of how good your meal would be if you were just a better cook like your friend. Or you wish you got the promotion a friend got, or could sing like a friend can sing or dress like a friend can dress. Compare compare compare. You’re super aware of all of the resources you do not have.
You don’t love your life because you’re blind to all you have. You forget you can see and hear, and many people can’t. You forget you’ve never starved and most of the world has. You forget you can breathe and much of the world can’t. Your police generally rescue you rather than perpetrate crimes on you. You can elect your political leaders and for many people that is a dangerous idea. Your children will likely live and many people’s won’t.
What would these people do if they got your life? Imagine if you were an innocent soul dropped into your life with no knowledge of what the previous you thought of it. You’d have all of your old skills but none of your memories or judgments. So you wouldn’t know who you were or what your attitudes used to be but you would know how to operate in the world. What would you do? Do you really think you’d sit almost completely still, repeating the same old patterns? Do you think you’d sit around half the day pining after an old love? Or re-living an argument with someone from work? Or in any way sit around complaining about your life?
Stop thinking the same unsatisfied person into existence each day. It is a choice and if you’re not enjoying it it’s a silly choice. Choose instead to see your life through new eyes. Look at it honestly and reveal its many good-fortunes. Revel in them. Own them. Experience the joy that goes with feeling grateful and strong and capable.
Your investment in your own life will be what builds the path to your future. So stop wishing for a different past. Instead, be grateful, take up your tools and stop thinking about another life in favour of digging deeply and fully into this one. Trust me, it’s a gold mine.
Thank you for joining me today. Enjoy your day.
peace. s
Scott McPherson is an Edmonton-based writer, public speaker, and mindfulness facilitator who works with individuals, companies and non-profit organisations locally and around the world.
I help people achieve better mental health by teaching them about reality.
