As with many people like us, none of us has ever been formally tested or diagnosed. But as with others like us, the people who know us best would generally share the view that my mother, and to some extent, my brothers and I, all exhibit many traits naturally associated with people near the Asperger’s portion of the spectrum. This may in part explain my own unusual ability to helpfully identify subtle patterns in a person’s thinking.
In addition to a brain that may be brushing against that spectrum, I also grew up with the powerful influence of my childhood brain injury. While it took decades for me to realize that it was different for others, I eventually came to be aware of the fact that the effects of my accident had created a noticeable space between me, the thinker of my thoughts, and the product being produced by that thinking—the actual content of my thoughts.
Living with a profoundly healthy, detached knowledge that I am not my thoughts, but rather the thinker of them, does result in a perspective that leaves me with a lot in common with people who have been defined as being high-functioning Autistic. But it also allows me to see another ‘style’ or approach to thinking that often clashes with the group I’m in, but that only happens due to an ignorance about the value of these differences in thinking.
While extreme cases have long led the establishment to view being anywhere near the spectrum as having some sort of ‘fault,’ or a ‘disorder,’ my accident makes me incapable of producing that negative bias. That being the case, I have always recognized the hidden beauty, grace and unique intelligence that many Autistic individuals, (albeit cryptically), display.
Experts are only now starting to realize that the associated strengths shared by a variety of non-neurotypical types, have likely played a critical, even irreplaceable, role in human progress and development.
Through recent reassessments of historical papers and records, we now know that many of the world’s most notable people—from DaVinci, to Michelangelo, and on to Ben Franklin, Thomas Edison, Issac Newton, and Einstein all exhibited spectrum-related traits—including many that are considered problematic or antisocial today.
That culturally out-of-sync nature is also commonly accepted in specific contexts–as evidenced by the countless media characters that illustrate it in a favourable light. Note how many films, (like Apollo 11, or The Martian), that consistently depict a motley collection of weird, social outcasts, with brains that enjoy complex logic and math–but can’t match a pair of socks–are also the genius cavalry that singularly saves the day with a brilliant idea.
Because our societies currently value conformity over practicality or originality, the majority of the population is leading routine-based, decent, honest, hardworking, polite lives. But that same group is also self-admittedly a largely uncreative and ineffective chunk of the world population.
This effectively means that a large group of people who live based on rules, or on wanting to fit in, end up stifling the abilities and application of the strange people who are completely fine with not being liked—as long as they are free to obsessively pursue certain kinds of answers.
Viewed in a healthier, more holistic way, many people on the spectrum possess natural abilities that others would love to have. And yet look at how we judge those who are impervious to judgment:
Society routinely criticizes examples of very fit, young women, who eat healthy—but who dress for their own comfort, and who are comfortable being their heavyset selves. Further, if a woman likes video games and computer programming, she’s viewed as an antisocial nerd, when in reality she’s more likely to be excellent in ways normal brains can’t accomplish.
Meanwhile, most ‘normal’ people care less about reality, and far more about other people’s thoughts. So they will credit a grossly insecure young woman on her stylish appearance, even though she overspends on fashion that perpetually changes, and she is only slim thanks to bulimia nervosa, brought on by fears about others judgments.
People on the spectrum are often mischaracterized as being ‘unacceptable’ only because society favours quiet faux-polite forms of anger, like long term resentments, grudges, or cold behaviour. People on the spectrum often prefer a more efficient, less corrosive approach that involves a rapid, explosive expression of their frustration, followed by a calm desire to engage in productive action.
For many people on the spectrum, the real human ugliness in society is contained in how long ‘normal people’ are willing to intentionally mistreat others, even when the initial frustration was created entirely through a completely innocent mistake, and not some obvious act of malice.
By learning more about the aspects of society that are otherwise invisible to them, many high-functioning people on the spectrum learn that they can successfully integrate into ‘normal’ human society, simply by teaching others about the differences in, and advantages of, the significant differences in how the world gets processed by the brain.
If a co-worker feels ‘overly’ concerned about the disorganized actions of their fellow employees, that is not someone complaining or being antisocial—that’s someone that should be put in charge of things that need to be organized, like inventory. Rather than asking everyone to be the same, we should be mining the value in everyone’s differences.
If you’re the parent of a child that has trouble fitting in, or if you’re an adult who is tired of being criticized for having traits you value within yourself, and that you have come by honestly, then you may find the training I do could be very helpful in assisting you and/or your child to maximize who you are in ways that feel good to you.
If you would like to discuss these issues, or how you relate to reality differently than others, then drop me an email at scottis@relaxandsucceed.com and we can arrange to have a no-obligation conversation about how you can comfortably realize more of your own life potential.
