Other Perspectives #91

816 OP Relax and Succeed - Forgiveness is a promise

With all due respect, I would like to draw attention to the difference between an ego’s idea of forgiveness and spiritual forgiveness. An ego’s idea is what’s expressed above. It’s a nice sentiment, it’s certainly not a bad thing if you do it, but it asks someone to do something in the future, which doesn’t exist in the healthiest mindspace. You’re always Now. So much like the post on Setting Limits, you cannot set an expectation of the future without risking adding further suffering to your life. On the other hand you can spiritually forgive someone, which has nothing to do with the other person at all. You’re not doing anything for them. You’re saving yourself by only living Now, which means you are not choosing to think about something painful that happened in some ethereal past. If something did happen again and you look past it out of love and forgiveness again, (in that Now), then you’re truly forgiving. So you might “fail” at forgiving one in ten times if you weren’t in a healthy state of mind. But that didn’t mean you failed at forgiving. You just missed being conscious once. And people can appreciate the effort in a nine-out-of-ten. They might even respect you a bit more if they’re occasionally reminded of how much the event hurt you and that it takes spiritual effort on your part to keep it out of your today. No one can demand your forgiveness. But your voluntary choice to leave painful thoughts in the past is something you are always free to do and it does improve all relationships.

peace, s

Scott McPherson is a writer, public speaker, and mindfulness facilitator who works with individuals, companies and nonprofit organizations around the world.

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Psychological Healing

I’ve worked with many people who have dedicated years and invested heavily in their mental and spiritual health and they’ve done so with very caring professionals. When they ask me why I was finally able to reach them, I always remind them I didn’t—they did. That what felt like counselling was actually a class. Yes, it’s tailored to each individual but it’s ultimately aimed at imparting a specific understanding of a psychological or spiritual skill that people can then very practically utilize to improve their enjoyment of life.

682 Relax and Succeed - Alice this is impossibleIf you want to improve your life you can’t want to get healthy. The fact that you’d have to get there automatically implies that you’re not there. If you’re not there then you must be thinking you’re somewhere else. I’m sorry if that seems confusing, but it’s actually quite clear from the right perspective. You see, you’re fine the way you are but you don’t think so. And so you’re constantly using your ability to talk to yourself to incessantly plan how to make your life into the life you’ve been taught to want. You don’t actually have a problem. You do however have a want, and wants feel like problems. No desires, no problems.

The issue is that you can’t figure out how to live without desires and that is a trick of the mind. Again, it’s very sensible once you can do it but it can seem trite or even ridiculous if you judge it from a ego perspective. But your mental health is nevertheless very logical. Clearly you won’t die without a Corvette but you can waste your life wanting one. So if you don’t need it it’s nothing to actually worry about and that means that thinking about that want will be entirely voluntary, painful and it will last as long as you think it.

If I could describe in a few words (or even hundreds of blogs) how this is done enmasse then clearly this would be the most popular blog in the world. But it’s not something you learn in that way. Again, I can’t teach it. People tell me where they struggle and I answer their 682 Relax and Succeed - Be the silent watcher of your thoughtsquestions quite precisely and they grow to understand. Or they read this blog every day and over time the posts start to cross-pollinate and they start to own the knowledge. It’s a process. A practice. I still learn every single day. It’s part of why I love each day. They’re so bountiful when you know how to see them.

It’s tricky. It’s like those 3D posters. You can learn to do it. After that, how much you do it is up to you. But you can count on the fact that you’ll eventually understand well enough that you’ll actually choose to be unhappy for a period of time just because it will be so unusual and interesting. And that is the weird paradox of learning to be happy—that you can do it even when you’re not happy. Deep down you know that. That’s why you’ll pay in advance for the fun of being terrified on a roller coaster.

Don’t fret for the world. It is much closer to perfection than you think. And as more and more people learn to see through the veil of illusory thought, soon entire generations of kids will be born with parents exhibiting these skills every day. And the world will be transformed. The process began long ago and much has been accomplished.

If you’re ever lost and unsure of which way to go, just remember that the very best route is always love. Love for others, love for yourself. Love is the home of everything and that becomes clearly evident when the veil of thought is lowered.

Here’s to a year of wider horizons, more peace and greater connection. Big hugs to you all.

peace. s