Other Perspectives #90

811 OP Relax and Succeed - Mom what is marriageThis is funny. In my experience thus far, the vast majority of men get left for the same reason every time. Same with the ladies. The guys tend to be emotionally inattentive and they keep calling their decisions the couple’s decisions. The ladies get it wrong when they do what this quote suggests: when they assume that their way of doing things is the correct way and that their spouse’s way is stupid, as opposed to just being another way of approaching something. Both the inattentiveness of the men and the certainty of the women lead to them usually being completely blindsided when their spouses leave them. Speak respectfully of those you love. Because you could flip this quote around to read, Dad, what is marriage? It’s a fancy word for having to put up with a bossy arrogant person who will constantly try to treat you like a child. Doesn’t sound nice, does it? Respect. If you’re going to be in a relationship with someone then make sure your commitment to love them is a verb that you practice daily and not just something you claim out of obligation or habit. Because whether they’re talking to other people or talking to their spouse, healthy people in healthy marriages talk about their partner’s qualities a lot more than the challenges they present.

peace, s

Scott McPherson is a writer, public speaker, and mindfulness facilitator who works with individuals, companies and nonprofit organizations around the world.

2014’s Blog of the Year #4

583 Relax and Succeed - In the end

My apologies.

I had wondered why so many people went to the page listing the Blog of the Year but relatively few followed the link through to the actual winning blog. And you guys picked good blogs this year, so they’re worth reading. But I didn’t realize until yesterday’s version that the links to the winning blogs were only working for some of you. That should be fixed now. Again, my sincere apologies for accidentally making them harder to reach than necessary. Today should go better. 🙂

This winner proves a few different things. First it underlines the fact that my readership is far more female than male, it demonstrates that many women are having the same challenges, and that the men aren’t failing to respond personally, it’s that they honestly don’t get it because they’re all behaving that way as an unconcious group. This blog was an attempt to offer some solace to women, and to give men a really big and important heads up. All of this year’s blog winners are great, but along with the Blog of the Year #9, reading this one might just save you a ton of pain, heartache and money:

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2014’s Blog of the Year #4

peace. s

2014’s Blog of the Year #9

578 Relax and Succeed - The greatest compliment*

The first half of 2014 saw me experimenting with a Dear Abby style of question and response. While many of you found the postings extremely valuable in their focus, overall people found fewer of the postings related to them personally. For that reason half way through the year (on July 1st), I switched back to the original format. I’ll maintain it again next year, although I will likely spend more time addressing healthy spiritual and psychological responses to current events.

While I was answering questions the number one thing I got written and called about was men. Men. Meh. You can’t really live with us the way you’d like to, and in most places it’s illegal to shoot us. Please don’t take too much of what happens personally.

If you’re heterosexual, part of it is that his brain was taught to write up differently from yours. (Like I’m telling you something you don’t know!) Plus he has had training from a different cultural time. That’s the problem with the pace everything’s moving at now; by the time a son becomes a dad and husband, what it is to be a dad and husband has changed entirely and he has to make it up as he goes.

Despite the challenges many men can be made aware of the value of better attentiveness and it definitely can lead to significantly improved relationships. For that reason I am happy to bring you:

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2014’s Blog of the Year #9

peace. s