Self-Consciousness and Consciousness of Self are Two Different States of Being

1367 Relax and Succeed - We make more sense than we think

From my perspective, what allows me to help people is all based on the years of meditation I did following my accident. That was very fortunately incited by a young doctor who was just wondering along with me, where people go when they are dead and then brought back to life.

That soon lead to all sorts of very Buddhist-like meditations regarding identity, the nature of ‘I,’ consciousness, and the nature of reality. And those constant meditations all proved fantastically fruitful –from my perspective.

From the student’s perspective, what often feels most different is they generally feel that I have an unusually keen insight into their psyches. They see that ability –and the one above– as being the same thing. While they certainly are connected, I think there is value in teasing these two ideas apart.

The idea of thoughts as reality, or the nature of consciousness, represent very deep and philosophical –even spiritual– ideas. But most people don’t start deep and go shallow, they start shallow and later go deep.

This means, for most students, they see the training as less about their spirit and much more about their psychology. They want help with daily life, that’s why they see more value in my ability to perceive hidden aspects of their psyche. Plus learning about ourselves is fun.

How I do this is difficult to describe. I’ve written before about how Daniel Tammet can ‘see’ mathematical forms. He doesn’t really do any calculations, he vaguely describes perceiving something more like shapes and colours. From there he can determine things like an extremely high prime number. I can relate to that a bit, because what I ‘see’ feels very precise as well.

Below is a video featuring another acquired savant (the ‘acquired’ part being a person who developed a savant ability following an injury or illness). In situations involving accidents or illnesses, most people are left worse off. But it goes differently for a lucky few.

Savants end up with some deficits as well, but we get to trade those for benefits. Some suddenly become great artists, others can calculate remarkable things or have fantastic memories. In the case used as the focus for the video, a man was beaten, had a head injury, and as a result he ended up becoming a sophisticated mathematician regarding any subject relating to pi.

This man’s story was comforting for me was because I could relate to his strange sense of both beauty and isolation. What happened to this fellow with pi happened to me with the logic of the psyche. As he looks around he sees math, and I can really relate to that because when I listen to people what I ‘see’ feels very close to math.

I see people’s psyche’s as having plenty of room for flexibility but, like math, the very nature of having a psyche means that it is structured and often predictable. That’s why we each experience the same kinds of challenges, we have repetitive arguments, or date the same kinds of people.

Any psyche is nothing more than a set of unconscious tests that we filter reality through, and clues about our filters lay hidden in our language and in how and where and when we use it. This is where my unusual ability shows up.

As people speak, word by word, pause by pause, juxtaposition by juxtaposition, I ‘see’ their personality form like a sculpture of their inner life. The context, timing, word choices, grammar, pacing, cadence, and body language etc. etc. all come at me like unfolding, logical data points. I can still have misinterpretations, but they are often corrected by more data/listening.

Having done this since I was five years old, conversations now appear to me much like a detailed and precise flow of building blocks that combine and recombine with the Tetris-like predictability of atoms or chemical formulas.

Over time, my model for a person becomes increasingly accurate, which is what allows me to help. This ability allows me to, in effect, ‘see’ the world through the student’s eyes to some degree. Once the model is specific enough, I can ‘see’ which realities people are inclined to block out and which they would be likely to invite in.

By showing people their hidden assumptions and how they likely arrived at them, people can appreciate the logic in their mistakes. In turn, they quickly recognize their ‘problems’ as meaningless thought-based barriers to their success, which in turn gives them increased feelings of freedom and strength. 

In truth, people are rarely stopped by the world, but we  are often crippled by our comprehension of it. That’s why making ourselves more conscious is so valuable. Unlike psychology, this training is less about what we perceive and more about how we how and why we perceive what we do. Once people can see that, they blossom.

If you think you make no sense, you can rest assured you are mistaken. Even people doing what appear to be the ‘craziest’ things are making a form of sense. And once they can appreciate the sense in what they are doing, they all tend to quite naturally move past their old boundaries. They become someone new by simply making different choices that are all based on their new and clearer vision.

I help people gain that vision, but the strength and clarity they feel in their lives is not generated by the training, it was always within them. The training is just what allows people to get out of their own way so that they can realize more of their potential. So never mistake your thoughts for your potential. Our potential is always magnificent, but our thoughts can be small enough to make us feel tiny.

peace. s

Reducing Anxiety

1347 Relax and Succeed - Anxiety can feel like drowning in thought

A growing number of otherwise successful people are being slowly crippled by anxiety.  Even many sleep issues end up being tracked back to nighttime anxiety. It can affect our love lives, our careers and our personal health and I’m having more and more people come to me for it.

Everyone feels like there is too much to know and do, and far too much to understand. And that’s just to exist, let alone to have a healthy relationship. In fact, modern life and quality relationships of all kinds are often at odds, so people very rightfully feel overwhelmed.

And yet not everyone does.

Too often we see the calm, graceful or productive people as being a part of a different breed. We forget that those people also have moments of doubt; they also experience shortages of confidence and frozen reactions. Like looking at a bucket of water and suggesting it is representative of an entire river, we cannot judge people by where they are at various moments in time. Not others or ourselves.

None of us are permanently successful or permanently failing, we are simply either being clear-minded or we are lost in ego. But we all do both things. It’s only a matter of how much.

The lessons I teach people do not make the problems of the world go away, obviously. But problems exist for confident capable people too, so the difference between a good life and a bad one isn’t whether or not it has challenges –it’s about which mindset we choose to approach those challenges from.

The feeling of anxiety is generated by us worriedly flitting between many of life’s variables without ever slowing down enough to actually consider them. It’s not that we’re lying about the challenges –they are often entirely real. Yet there are ways to either gracefully accept, or gracefully approach the resolution of a challenge. But to do so we need to know how to cultivate a calm mind.

None of us are permanently successful or permanently failing, we are simply either being clear-minded or we are lost in ego.

Someone experiencing grief or betrayal or guilt is looking to avoid a certain type of intense thought. But people working on anxiety are more focused on developing a greater sense of focus, which steals their ability to flit between thoughts. Otherwise they are like bees who never spend enough time on any flower to either eat or spread the flower’s pollen. In that way their flitting undermines both themselves and their environment.

Calm thoughts and a deeper and slower sense of being does not belong to some special class of people. Those who achieve those productive states of mind do so intentionally, even if they also sometimes to it unconsciously. Mental health is achieved when we gain greater and greater conscious control over that intention.

We must become more aware of how we use our minds to create our current and undesirable reality. Once we can see our innocent participation in our suffering we naturally stop. And stopping our anxiety is much like finding ourselves, because lurking behind all of our thinking is the greater being doing that thinking. And that self is bigger than our thoughts can define.

peace. s

One Day Off

1282 Relax and Succeed - No thought. Simply be. That itself is a meditation

During those wonderful times where we feel a strong sense of flow, confidence and often attendant success, we often achieve it without feeling like we’ve been burdened by overthinking regarding our doubts, worries, our confusion or our disappointments. In fact, the lack of debilitating thinking is exactly why we are able to capture that sense of flow.

Despite the fact that the successful person noted above is a real version of ourselves, it is amazing how quickly we will dismiss that person as though they don’t exist within us –and all because of our debilitating thinking. Because if you’re like most people you’re pretty hard on yourself in your thoughts on most days.

You think about how you don’t look the way you want, you think about how you would like to be somewhere different in your life by now, and you think about all the reasons you can’t seem to be the better person you want to be. Hell is a good name for that place of belittling over-thinking. It exists in eternity and eternity is happening now, which basically means that ego-based thinking is hell.
So what can we do about it?

We can avoid visiting there. After all they are our thoughts. So let’s make a simple deal, okay?

It’s Family Day today where I am, so let’s celebrate it by honouring our participation in the family of humanity. 7.5 billion of us are each individuals and we are each fulfilling our roles perfectly. Sometimes we play the hero, sometimes the clown, and yes, sometimes we are the villain. And often times we don’t find out who we were until the final curtain because perspective changes everything. So just forget all of the pre-judgment and let’s just let go and stop all the critical thinking about ourselves, others, and the world.

If we really feel the need to, we can all go back to beating ourselves up tomorrow. But just for this one day, let’s just dismiss those thoughts about how we are lacking, or how our life is lacking, or how others are failing to meet our expectations, and let’s just let those thoughts go instead.

Simply breathe and look around and treat your day like you’re on holiday, or visiting inside your own body. Look at everything familiar as though it is new and needs review. See the logos on products you use, note the names of machines, or look on parts of your computer screen you usually ignore. Talk to the person you normally barely notice, or listen for the differences in timbre between two friend’s voices.

However we do it, we need to get our minds focused on what’s happening in the moment that we are in, even that’s just the sound of our feet on the floor. There is richness in stopping our incessant thinking. So today let us all commit right now to spend less time having critical thoughts about what we are doing and instead we will invest that energy on spending more time being in the space between the thoughts.

peace. s