Scott’s Favourite Friday Dose of 2014 #2

720 SFD14 Relax and Succeed - My goal is to create

There was about three or four other Dose’s that got serious consideration for this Top Two ranking, but it came down to which ones were greater priorities. This site tries to always be about you feeling stronger and more capable. To feel that way you have to be filled with joy and rewarding experiences. So 2nd Place goes to a post that features two creative people talking very wisely about personal and professional achievement, growth, overcoming challenges, and how to live an inspired life. And it also includes a little girl who reminds us of the magic in small things. We just have to slow our busy minds down enough to realize that amazing parts of life are happening all around us, all the time. There was a day where we were all that innocent, a day where we all learned about gifts falling from the sky….


Winner: Scott’s Top
Friday Dose of 2014 #2

peace. s

2014’s Blog of the Year #8

579 Relax and Succeed - It's easier than you think*

Of course in hindsight my accident is likely the most valuable thing that has ever happened to me. It still took me over 30 years to realize that not everyone had invested their life in thinking about thinking. Now that I know that it’s so much easier to be helpful. Simply put, people overcomplicate life. As Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts.” Whether you’re being your mother self or daughter self or sister self or employee self or boss self, or worried self or angry self, that’s all you. Those are your many masks and you like everyone else is doing nothing more than marching toward your inevitable death. Since that’s the case, you might as well live something profound in between. This blog was noted by numerous people for having successfully paired a lesson on how to quit worrying and start living deeply, with a very inspirational video by the wonderful philosopher, Alan Watts. So what are you waiting here for? Click the link and go get inspired 😉


2014’s Blog of the Year #8

peace. s

2014’s Blog of the Year #10

577 Relax and Succeed - It is not enough*

It’s that time of year again folks. (Well, at least on the calendar that Canada uses.) The last two weeks before Christmas everyone gets busy and that’s when I shift to the countdown of the 10 most popular blogs of the year. If you haven’t read these then their inclusion here is a good indication that you will like them. And even if you have read them, fortunately my work is designed to be re-read because I am primarily invested in the reader changing. If you read anything of mine, you’ll feel quite differently if you read it again in a few months.

This year’s countdown starts off rather fittingly at the beginning. At the basics. Consciousness arose, followed by language, and no one could know that the two would intersect in an amazing way so as to create an illusion for our minds. An illusion that must be seen from just the right angle or it stays hidden. An illusion that acts as an ethereal barrier for so many people seeking more happiness in their lives. I’m happy to report that many people found this posting helped clear up psychological and spiritual questions they have sought answers to for years. If it wouldn’t have been on this list it would have made my Scott’s Favourites week in the summer. Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you our first winner:


2014’s Blog of the Year #10

peace. s

2013’s Blog of the Year

Happy New Year Everyone.

And so we have arrived. This seems very a very fitting winner to be announced on a January 1st. It was a close race between the first seven winners but the last three were all way out in front, with third, second and first all being roughly 50% larger than each other. This enormously popular posting is like a hybrid in that it features a short story by the great guru Tony DeMello. I’ve seen this story presented in a variety of ways but I’ll admit that I personally like my version best. 😉

This is a blog posting about Realization. The Realization that you are awesome beyond your dreamsthat you are connected to a sea of love by every fibre of your Being. And the only thing that prevents you from experiencing that wonder is your own limiting thoughts. You tell yourself a rigid little story and then you volunteer to live within its borders. This post is about pushing those borders outward. 280 Relax and Succeed - Argue for your limitationsIt’s about making that into a habit. It’s about you deciding to abandon the Pursuit of Success in favour of Engaging with Expansion. So yes, we can choose to be alone at the top. Or we can be connected to All. One feels hollow, the other feels full.

You’re ready. You were always ready. You can change at any time of day on any day of the week. But since 2014 is rolling in anyway you can use it as an official starting point. Just remember: a Resolution doesn’t have to succeed on January 1st. You can go in steps. Of course you’ll still get lost in your thoughts. Of course you’ll still have experiences you’ll wish you could figure out how to stop. But if 2014 is the year you truly dedicate yourself to raising your awareness , and if you work toward managing your thoughts more and your life less, then I can absolutely guarantee you that you will see progress.

So you can finish becoming the new person you want to be on the next January 1st. Because you get good at doing things by doing them. So you have to keep doing them. Just keep quietly moving toward maintaining your Awareness more of the time. That is why they call it a Practice. You don’t succeed 100%. You just practice. Get conscious. Trust me, it won’t take as long as you think and you’ll be steadily improving along the way anyway. It’s easily worth it.

This is your year. It’s time to clear the decks, throw out the old baggage, and especially and most importantly imagine yourself not as the person trying to become who you want to be—imagine yourself already being that person. Because that is how you get from here to there. It’s that simple. All you have to do is believe it. The people with great lives—the people who soar—they all have great lives because they believe they are worthy of great lives. Just like you. So as you work toward your own increased awareness of the incredible power of your own thoughts, I offer you this little piece of encouragement, also known as The Blog of the Year:

Fly Like An Eagle

You’re sitting there trying to figure out which road to take. Are you this, or are you that? Should you be in school or at a job? And what job? Working for who? And who should you be in a relationship with? Or should you be in a relationship at all? Should you choose this city or that one? This car or that one? Should you have skipped this 280 Relax and Succeed - Rather than spend eonsparty to be at that other one? Should you have said this or that? Blah blah blah goes your head.

Shoulda coulda woulda. If your aunt was a man she would be your uncle. Why are you even thinking/talking-to-yourself about what-ifs? Your speculation is meaningless. Stop using your thoughts to want to be somewhere or someone else. Stop using your internal conversations to discuss a different history with yourself. Can’t you see that your life is sitting still while you have those incessant internal conversations?

There are no wrong choices, there are only the choices you make. Be Present where you are because no amount of planning will give you a safe and secure path through life. You being safe and secure is not the point. You being alive is the point.

Your life is not a set of events. Read that again: your life is not a series of events. Your life is a stream of experiences. Stop trying to manage the events and start trying to manage the experiences. Because two people can be at the same event and have vastly different experiences. The difference between them is not where they were or what was happening outside of them. The difference was what they chose to focus their attention on within themselves.

That choice—the choice of what you invite into your awareness—is what forms your life experience. So st0p thinking about how you wish you could fly and start re-imagining yourself as someone who already can. Because the only thing keeping you grounded is your belief that you can’t fly.

280 Relax and Succeed - Your life is not a set of eventsYou’ll see me post Tony DeMello talks on the page occasionally. Tony was a Jesuit Priest, but more importantly he was an enlightened psychologist and a hilarious guy. He used to tell a story about you that I’ll paraphrase from memory:

Someone once took an egg from an eagle’s nest and placed it under a barnyard hen. A chicken sat on the egg and eventually it hatched. All his life the little eagle grew up with chickens and he did as the chickens around him did. He walked around pecking at the ground for worms and insects, clucking and cackling, and like them he occasionally fluttered his wings for a short hop through the air.

Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he was pecking away with all of the chickens in the yard and a large shadow passed overhead. The barnyard eagle looked up in awe at a magnificent, giant golden eagle. It hovered effortlessly over the farmyard, held aloft by only a small breeze. The little bird asked his chicken-friend, “Who is that?!” 

The other chicken looked up to see the eagle floating majestically, high above them. “That is the eagle. He is the king of the sky. He has the freedom to fly wherever he chooses.”

He’s magnificent,” said the eagle. “I so wish I could fly like he does.”

Yes, that would be nice,” replied the chicken. “But the eagle belongs to the sky. And we are chickens, and chickens belong on the ground.” 280 Relax and Succeed - To be or not to beAnd so the eagle looked back down to the dirt of the barnyard, where he began scratching and picking at the dry ground again.

And in the end the eagle never did fly. Instead he lived and died just like all of the other barnyard chickens. Because that is what he thought he was.

You are not a chicken. You are an eagle. So stop looking downward in some panicked effort to find more or better worms than your neighbour. Forget competing with the chickens of ego. Stop using the weight of your own judgmental thinking to hold your spirit down. Instead, use the wings of your imagination to lift you to heights you previously did not know belonged to you. You’ll not only have a much greater perspective, but your freedom will be an inspiration to all of the other chickens.

There is no right or wrong way to fly. There are no good or bad paths through the sky. There is only flying. Now go be an eagle.

peace. s


2013’s Blog of the Year #8

273 Relax and Succeed - The hardest thingYou’re worse at keeping secrets than you imagine. Like a child who thinks that if they cannot see you then you cannot see them, your attempts to hide your feelings are only half-successful. That’s largely because you see the world from inside out, and other people look at your life from the outside in. You think the thoughts, we see the expressions.

I suspect this blog got into the top ten strictly with its subject matter alone. Many people completely forget that their face is a direct reflection of their thinking. It’s funny, I had more than one person tell me that their vanity was helping them stay conscious because they were very alert about giving people the wrong facial signals. So ironically their egos motivated an exercise designed to promote consciousness. Go figure.

It’s short, sweet, and it’s my reader’s choice for the 8th Most Popular Blog of the Year:

Your Secret Communication

When I’m watching auditions and screen tests for a project I’m casting, I’ll always watch the actor when their role isn’t talking because that’s when you can see if they’re truly in character. A bad actor will tend to either just play the emotions, or they’ll create a collection of affectations that they imagine is interesting and in alignment with the character. The really good actors don’t 273 Relax and Succeed - Be mindful of your self-talkhave a line between the character and themselves. They are Being the other person by thinking their thoughts. But how do I know which is which?

What you perceive as “your body” is actually a cooperation of individual cells working together to make you operational. Your brain does the processing, but your whole body is smart. And your body talks via chemistry. So when you think a frightened thought, your hypothalamus will stop pumping out the chemical for your previous experience, and it will shift to pumping out the chemicals for fear—chemicals like adrenaline.

Your body will react instantly to this chemical signal. Each cell has essentially been given its orders relative to the group. Muscles in the legs will tense in preparation to fight or run, your heart rate will increase to oxygenate those muscles, and the muscles in the face will adjust by opening your eyes wider to allow your dilated pupils to see everything going on. The chemicals will flare your nostrils to allow more air to get into your lungs so your heart can get it to those muscles. And the result of all of that is what we call “a frightened look.”

So back to the actors; when the bad actor isn’t talking, he looks like he’s waiting to say his next line because that’s what his thoughts are doing. The good actor looks like he’s listening to the other actor as though he’s never heard the words before.

273 Relax and Succeed - What I thinkAll of this means that when you believe you’re hiding how you feel, that’s because when you talk to someone you say to yourself, “yes, just smile and nod. That’s right, let this bitch think you really care one second about what she’s saying,” and you can almost genuinely smile. But when the person leaves, you’ll feel safe and you’ll go back to your internal narrative. And you’ve forgotten people can still see your face. And because you’re inside those thoughts at that time—you are being them, rather than observing them—you don’t notice that you’re communicating a lot to the people around you. It’s why deaf people generally spot liars much faster and more easily than people who can hear.

I used to walk my cute little Bichon Frise down Whyte Avenue and I would see punks or skinheads or hipsters, and when they first saw Mo their face would expose a dog-lover. They would explode into a smile—but then they would catch themselves. This is a street to be cool on. And I would watch them remember that, and that thought would shift their expression to careless indifference. (I suspect it’s models and mannequins that suggest to young people that pouty dissatisfaction is equivalent to being sophisticated and discerning.) So on the street with the dog, that kid will have forgone his own natural interests in favour of looking cool to others. It’s like we’re all peacock’s and advertising has taught everyone that mating season is 24/7 for 365 days a year.273 Relax and Succeed - Beauty is not in the face

Your face is a real-time biography. Everyone knows much more about you than you realize because your face can’t keep the secrets if your brain thinks the thoughts. You can’t have one thought and another expression. That’s what an expression is; it’s the result of the chemistry from your thinking.

So if you really want to look beautiful, forget buying better foundation or eye-liner—try actually noticing what’s nice about the universe around you. Because that thought will immediately beam out of your face, and it’s the only look that everyone agrees is beautiful.

Now go be yourself. Go be beautiful.

Much love, s