I apologize that there will be no blog today. I’ve been solo caring for two people with different forms of conflicting dementia for a solid year now and I simply need a day with a little less in it. Mom’s dementia is quite angry and intense, plus there has been precious little help in there. I get it, everyone’s busy with their own dramas and that’s understandable, so no complaints. But self-care is critical when caring for others, and this is it.
I counted yesterday, and I went up the stairs 221 times between midnight and midnight. That was usually to clean something, fix something, or stop something in a way that would have involved a battle, because they can think it’s a great idea to go outside in light clothes at -30. So with stuff like that, Mom’s a full-day handful now, plus I’m still trying to run a business to keep myself afloat. Between their health issues last year and now COVID, I’ve had two and a half years with next to no income and that’s getting dangerous for a single guy.
At the same time, there is a ton of laundry to do and I need one day with at least something off my plate and this blog will be it. If I don’t pace myself I’m no good as an example to you. So this is all I’ll write today. But in titling the piece after eight years of writing, I realized that somehow I have never covered exhaustion before. (Oops.) So I’ll do more on that in the future. For today, I’ll do my best to get the transcript from yesterday’s CBC Column up, and hopefully Dad’s videos up, later today. I guess we’ll see what ‘the boss’ permits. 🙂
Despite there being no real blog, don’t forget to enjoy your day. In some situations that requires real focus on our part. So you’re allowed to falter when you’re tired. But remember, the only reason I’ve survived this when few would, is because I suck up every bit of goodness I can find. And even in terrible times, there’s a surprising amount of it. So you never want to get so tired you don’t feel like looking for it. That’s when we know we’ve gone too far and we should ask for help.
The light at the end of the tunnel is not far off now, and for some of us, we’ve made it through something monumentally difficult. As tired as we all are, we should also be proud. Even in these conditions, if we focus on finding what’s best about our day, then our day can be made good. And if that approach can work in this situation, then I am sure it can work in yours.
Don’t let that wisdom go unused. Even if you’re wading through thorns, keep your eyes on the roses.
A serious childhood brain injury lead Scott to spend his entire life meditating on the concepts of thought, consciousness, reality and identity. It made others as strange to him as he was to them. When he realized people were confused by their own over-thinking, Scott began teaching others to understand reality. He is currently CBC Radio Active’s Wellness Columnist, as well as a writer, speaker and mindfulness instructor based in Edmonton, AB where he still finds it strange to write about himself in the third person.