When I train clients, I simply explain how reality works, and then they spend the course trying to prove me wrong. As they enjoyably fail at that process, they accept that they have been living illogically. As they surrender their false ideas about themselves and the world, reality begins to come into view.
It’s that ‘agreement with themselves’ part that matters. I don’t ask anyone to just believe me. I point out that there are legitimate ways to see themselves and their lives that are quite flattering. Once they can honestly see that person, they start trusting themselves.
As they ask their questions, one of the things that confuses many people is the list of things that are ‘real,’ versus ‘unreal.’ They assume the solid things are real, and the not-solid things are some potential form of’ unreal’. In fact, some solid things are nothing, and some ideas are as solid as stone.
If I freeze some water in a cardboard box, and I drop it on someone’s head, I might kill them. But if take that exact same box and place it in a warmer context, suddenly the same act, with the same box and substance, just gets someone soggy.
All the facts remained, only the context changed. But that alone, made the very same water molecules behave in a much different way, Similarly, when we appraise any aspect of our life, or the world, we do so within a mental context.
If our ideas come from our ego, they will be rigid, and cold and hard, like the block of ice. That will bring us into harsh conflict with other egos that are similarly rigid. This is happening more and more, as the individuals that form our societies become more and more confused, depressed and anxious.
In these states, we can do a lot of damage to our own lives, and others—as we all have. But, if we can release all of our rigid, aligned, egocentric thinking, we might still unavoidably get some people ‘wet,’ (and they still may not like it), but at least we will be free to flow.
Too often, egos are wrapped up in thoughts about being acceptable, or liked. We want to fit in. That’s where the alignment and rigidity come in. Unity is a healthy desire for any pack animal. But not at the complete expense of our Selves.
Our lives are ours. We are here to live them with others, not for others. But despite that, all egos start their life by getting lost in their thoughts and ideas about the world. As a result, we often do far more to ‘be acceptable,’ or to keep others happy, than we’ll do for ourselves.
Fortunately, getting lost is a critical part of finding oneself. We need to do that in order to recognize the value in our own experience, versus what our egos do, which is constantly seek any life but our own.
In the end, no matter what we do, we all recognize our own death as the discontinuation of new moments in which to create a life. At that point, everyone achieves the knowledge that the present moment is precious, and gratitude for pure existence becomes an easy route to wonderful life. Many cancer survivors know that feeling well.
Obviously it is much better to live with clarity and wisdom for more than just the last few moments of our lives, or without needing cancer to provide our clarity. Especially when we can learn how to spend a considerable portion of every day, in a state of mind that allows us to live a rewarding life, as our most effective and loving self.
Always remember: you are your own key. The answer is inside you. You only need to learn how to let it out to live.
If you would like to work with me to activate your potential, write me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can plan a time for me to answer your questions.
A serious childhood brain injury lead Scott to spend his entire life meditating on the concepts of thought, consciousness, reality and identity. It made others as strange to him as he was to them. When he realized people were confused by their own over-thinking, Scott began teaching others to understand reality. He is currently CBC Radio Active’s Wellness Columnist, as well as a writer, speaker and mindfulness instructor based in Edmonton, AB where he still finds it strange to write about himself in the third person.