The fundamental sentiment here is fine—I’m just not sure why it doesn’t include half the planet. Men and women are all raised quite differently in essentially every culture on Earth and those do lead to thought-pattern differences that get added to the differences dictated by the actual brain structures. But it’s not like either gender corners the market on some feeling. It’s not like men or women have different emotions to experience. They might call on them at different frequencies, but we all have essentially the same composition. So yes, if you hurt any human being too much they will become conditioned to poor treatment. So if a parent screams at a kid constantly, then when the kid starts dating someone that screams at them, they don’t leave because to them that behaviour has been made “normal.” And it can start to feel so normal that people will actually reject better behaviour in favour of the behaviour that feels more familiar and therefore more comfortable. So people will stay to get yelled at or even physically attacked because that does not seem out of alignment with what they feel they might deserve for treatment based on their childhood. So; however a child gets treated is the behaviour they will seek later in life. If a child has been supported and loved and cared for, then their assumption will be that their romantic partners should have the same affect. But if they’ve been belittled and abused and disrespected, then that will be what they’re used to and that will be what they will subconsciously seek in a partner. So if anyone of any gender is pushing someone away who is treating them well, that’s probably because they were trained by their childhood to think that being treated well is something that should be regarded with suspicion. It will have historically meant that someone will have had a motive. So don’t criticize people for what might seem to you to be irrational fears. In their world they unfortunately weren’t irrational, and that’s a fact worth remembering. And the only way to change that is by treating someone well over time until that becomes their new normal. The world can be harsh at times. So be kind to each other out there folks. And don’t forget it’s the March Kindness Challenge. Be kind to yourself, avoid gossip or complaining, and give lots of compliments. Have a great week!
Note: Everyone who posts or shares a quote does so with the very best of intentions. That said, I have created the series of Other Perspectives blog posts in an effort to prevent some of these ideas from entering into people’s consciousness unchallenged. These quotes range from silly to dangerous and—while I intend no offense to their creators—I do use these rebuttals to help define and delineate the larger message I’m attempting to convey in my own work. I do hope you find them helpful in your pursuit of both psychological and spiritual health.
A serious childhood brain injury lead Scott to spend his entire life meditating on the concepts of thought, consciousness, reality and identity. It made others as strange to him as he was to them. When he realized people were confused by their own over-thinking, Scott began teaching others to understand reality. He is currently CBC Radio Active’s Wellness Columnist, as well as a writer, speaker and mindfulness instructor based in Edmonton, AB where he still finds it strange to write about himself in the third person.