Avoid Getting Caught

1234 Relax and Succeed - One day I woke upDespite our self-criticisms all of us are actually smart and capable. Our problem isn’t our potential, it’s our limits on that potential. The potential is always ready to go by nature. It’s not that we aren’t realizing it, it’s that we’re holding ourselves back by being tricked into going the wrong direction.

We should think of ourselves as a fish. Our three-dimensional world gives us the ability to move in any direction. Eating another fish would be like combining ourselves with another part of the universe and we would use the energy to grow even larger and more capable.

The ego-based world is more like bait. There’s some fisherman who lives in a world nothing like ours, and they’re going to pull us into their two-dimensional world and eat us up. Knowing the difference between bait and nourishment is key to our enjoyment of life.

1234 Relax and Succeed - We don't need anything more

Today, on each and every decision that we can recognise (we’ll probably identify less than 10% of them), we must ask ourselves whether the decision we made/are making was/is about more, or for better? Are we just trying to get more time, more money, more stuff, more respect, or more control etc.? Or was/is the decision about improving how we feel about our life?

We have very healthy feelings just before we quit a job we despise, or just before we end a taxing relationship. We’re giving up more for better and it feels good. That’s like flailing and getting the hook out of our mouth.

All day long we make these little decisions and brick by brick they build our world. So greater consciousness is critical, but to do this we need awareness. But our radar can’t learn to pick up that other 90% if we don’t start with trying to find the big, easy 10% that affects 90% of our life. We shouldn’t be working hard to save things that have no meaning.

1234 Relax and Succeed - Nothing makes a fish bigger
Nothing makes us wiser and more capable than learning to tell the difference between bait and nourishment.

No one really wins an argument. Achievements are always short-lived. Comfort breeds complacency. Ease makes us dull. Control crushes value. Money can’t buy happiness, status is fleeting and dangerous, and attachment destroys love. We can’t want more. We must seek better or our lives are an endless loop of consumption of people, things and places.

We shouldn’t get hooked and swallowed up by a two-dimensional world that limits our heights. Rather than forever seeking more–as though some gap in ourselves will be filled by achievement–we must all turn our eyes away from the collection of life and toward simply sharing in its remarkable abundance and beauty, because we sure don’t need much when the life we’re leading is rich.

peace. s

Scott McPherson is an Edmonton-based writer, public speaker, and mindfulness facilitator who works with individuals, companies and non-profit organizations locally and around the world.

 

The Law of Attraction

Winner: 2015’s Blog of the Year #10

There’s a lot of people wandering around out there with a confused idea about the Law of Attraction. Because it isn’t some tool to get what you want. Wanting is something egos do. This isn’t about you being conditionally happy. It’s not about a nicer house and a good stall for your luxury car. This is about deep and abiding peace. And you don’t need anything specific going on outside of you for that state of mind to exist within you. Remember, your life experience isn’t out there, your life experience is created when you process out there, in here. The reality you experience every day emerges from within.

614 Relax and Succeed - You do not attractSo this isn’t you imagining a nice house and then getting a nice house. That’s wish fulfillment and that’s deep in the heart of ego. No, this is about how you are in the world. This isn’t about you asking for stuff you want when you want it, this is about the verb of your life and what does it communicate?

So for instance my father is constantly helping other people and so he’s simultaneously the sort of person people enjoy helping. But that can’t be my dad’s goal. He can’t be manipulating what he gets. He has to almost be surprised by it, because he is so enveloped in genuinely being who he is. And that Isness—that way of being—is a vibration that exists in the universe and it helps us to find harmonizing frequencies. It’s why at parties all the sufferers and sick people tend to hang out together, and all the adventurers and entertainers tend to hang together, the jokesters and light-hearted tend to hang together, and all the judgmental gossipy people tend to hang together. They choose to think the same types of thoughts and like attracts like.

614 Relax and Succeed - There is a story they tellSo if you don’t have enough friends then it may simply be that you’re not being friendly enough. Or if you’re not meeting potential dates, then maybe you’re also not introducing yourself to them. Or if you don’t think people like you then maybe you should start with liking yourself. Stop being so judgmental and comparative and just be yourself fully and completely and without apology. That would have you in such a rare collection of people–and they share the most beautiful kind of beauty.

Complaining about the world doesn’t attract solutions it attracts other complainers. Being angry at another driver doesn’t make them drive better, it makes you drive worse. And you cannot yell at your kids and then ask them to speak respectfully back to you. We get what we give out. That’s how the Law of Attraction works.

Now go attract yourself an awesome day by being the awesome person you naturally are. 🙂

peace. s

Scott McPherson writes, speaks, and facilitates mindfulness training and relationship development with individuals, couples, families, companies and non-profit organizations around the world.

Love Yourself

You want love. You pine. You yearn. You wish. You plead. Why can’t you be swept off your feet? Why can’t someone who makes life easier come along? What can’t your heart feel the fullness of true love?

446 Relax and Succeed - If you don't love yourselfDo really want the answer to that? Because the answer is that you choose not to fill it with love. Your heart is full of criticism, judgment and opinion about everything and everybody—most importantly including you. Why is it filled with that? Because that’s what you invest your consciousness on. If I monitored your thoughts all day I would find that you thought a lot about your identity and I would also witness you levelling all sorts of criticisms, judgments and opinions about that identity. And you do the same thing to everyone else too.

So… it begs the question, what are you doing at a salon? Why are you spending your hard-earned money on French nails? Why spend $150 on perfume? All of that effort and expense—and expense is really just another form of deferred effort—is to try to attract a person who will love you and who you will love as well. But then these are superficial things that are purchases, not your identity. The people we date don’t live with our labels and scents, they live with us. So the real question is, what kind of person are you without them? And the point of this blog is that you’re someone who beats themselves up.

So to an outsider your ego is like a jerk you have along for the ride. You drive down a road and you spot a bakery and your ego-buddy immediately starts telling you that you’re not fine the way you are, and how you should diet because you’re too fat and too unappealing to attract a romantic partner. Essentially you’re punished for being human.

446 Relax and Succeed - RevolutionWhat would these internal conversations sound like to an outsider? Your ego-buddy just called you fat. Why would someone who likes you want to sit around and listen to their friend get berated by their own ego? Does that sound fun? Attractive? Compelling? Sheesh. So of course people you’re attracted to aren’t going to find it appealing that you beat yourself up.

So basically every day you work hard to earn money so you can go spend it all on bait. So you’ll put in 8-12 hours a day on superficial bait, but I ask you to do one simple thing to change your life and you all rear-up as though I’m asking for the moon. Forget $400 blouses, $2000 watches, agonizing trips to the gym and plastic surgery. Just love yourself instead. Yeah. Revolutionary, huh? Love yourself. Just stop berating yourself so that the real you can come alive. Berating you just trains you to be with people who berate you. Loving yourself is what teaches you to be with people who love you.

Here, we can start here: I love you. You go next. You love yourself. Isn’t this great? And you’ve still got 6,999,998 more people to be loved by. Have fun! 😉

peace. s

Blind Ambition

You say that we shouldn’t want anything but then what would motivate me to do anything? Why would I go to work if I didn’t want things? How exactly am I supposed to put together the life I want if I don’t go out and get those things? I want to be as spiritually healthy as the next person but what’s the point if I have to live a life that’s ugly and cheap and unsatisfying? Can’t I have my cake and eat it too?

signed,
Wanting Answers

Dear Wanting,

You sound like the daughter of a Tiger Mom. And if turns out you actually are—which is pretty likely—then take comfort in knowing that your journey is a common one. There is a well-worn path so you don’t have to feel like you have to accomplish some amazing spiritual feat to understand things in a profound way. You 235 Relax and Succeed - Life is shortjust have to take one step at a time. As you climb the hill of understanding you will gain perspective that will cause many previously mysterious things to suddenly make perfect sense.

I love your question so much I want to tackle each part of it separately. Let’s start with “Why would I go to work if I didn’t want things?” Yeah, why do you go to work? Have you ever questioned that? Why do you need a job to exist? Why do you need to work for someone? Think about it. That’s a relatively new idea. That got invented because we envied kings and queens and we wanted stuff like they had. And so a whole system got built up around our egotistical need to try and elevate ourselves by reflecting and collecting our society’s status symbols. And so you feel like your life is building to a point where you can anoint yourself as successful, but I’m telling you you were born successful but you have been convinced to tell yourself a word-based story about how you need to earn your value.

Do you think a famous, talented architect builds a gorgeous house as a way of anointing himself as successful? Do you think a real painter paints to make you like it? Do you think a songwriter is trying to sell songs, or are they trying to tell a sort of truth? True creation is an authentic act. It does not seek to impress or further the agenda of its creator. It exists naturally, without external motivation. It is manifestation, not request. It is the releasing of creativity rather than the ownership of beauty.

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If you want a truly enviable life then live an authentic one. Don’t go to stores and collect all the things you’ve been told to collect by music, and TV and the web and your friends and everyone except you (yes I know you have a story you tell yourself where it really is you!). Be original by being yourself. Move in directions not because they reflect well on you, move in directions that naturally inspire you. Don’t collect things, experience things. Because you can tell yourself a story about your impressive life, or you can go out and actually live a deep and profound one. But you can’t do both.

So think about where you’re investing your psychological energy. Because it just may be that there are some common myths that you may have unwittingly bought into. Free yourself from those and rather than becoming someone impressive know that you already are someone impressive.

peace. s