I suspect the people in this photo are still teenagers and that’s suitable because the quote is definitely an immature view of love and relationships. This isn’t to say that it isn’t a valid way to see things for someone young, but obviously most 20 year olds know way more about the world than most 10 year olds and the same holds true of 40 year olds who look at 20 year olds. And one of those ways we often grow is that we adjust our expectations for our relationships. Let me be absolutely clear: no one will ever be anyone’s everything. Got it? Never. That’s not how it works nor do you want it to be that way. You will need your friends even if you have a significant other. You will have interests that your partner does not have and they will do likewise. This is not a failing of either of you or of the relationship. Human lives are multi-facted polyhedrons of experience and thought and perspective. Those differences make each of us unique despite all of our similarities. So you will sometimes not know what to say or do to help your partner but someone else will. There’s nothing wrong with that, and if either you or your romantic partner are hoping or planning not to need anyone else, then you are signing up for guaranteed trouble because that is asking way too much from each other and from yourselves. Yes, partners should be each others primary sources of inspiration and support, but no one will ever be anyone else’s exclusive support system and if anyone’s asking you to do that, then know that they are also asking you to do something that is both immature and unhealthy. Be supportive and then trust your partner to come to you when you’re the right person. Anything other than that is mistrust and that’s a bad basis for a good relationship. Now go have yourself an awesome time together by simply enjoying each other’s company.
Note: Everyone who posts or shares a quote does so with the very best of intentions. That said, I have created the series of Other Perspectives blog posts in an effort to prevent some of these ideas from entering into people’s consciousness unchallenged. These quotes range from silly to dangerous and—while I intend no offence to their creators—I do use these rebuttals to help define and delineate the larger message I’m attempting to convey in my own work. I do hope you find them helpful in your pursuit of both psychological and spiritual health.
Following a serious childhood brain injury Scott McPherson unwittingly spent his entire life meditating on the concepts of thought, consciousness, reality and the self. This made him as strange to others as they were to him. Seeing the self-harm people created with their own overthinking, Scott dedicated part of his life to helping others live with greater awareness. He is currently a writer, speaker and mindfulness instructor based in Edmonton, AB, where he finds it strange to write about himself in the third person.