Here’s the weird thing: everyone’s mesmerized. Brainwashed. They think words are experiences. So they move into a neighbourhood called The Hamptons because it sounds so classy, and yet if we actually look at what it is, it’s repetitive, uniform, and it lacks creativity. Because there’s some pillars at the gate it’s special? Cars are made by robots. The error rates from the best to the worst aren’t very far apart anymore. But people will pay triple the amount to get a vehicle that they feel makes a statement—not about who they feel they are (which is insecure. All egos feel insecure), but about what identity they would like to project. In essence, who they wish they were.
Clothing, haircuts, even which movies you see. These will all be things outside yourself that you will use to try to create an admirable identity. You’re a film buff. You’re an athlete. You’re young for your age. You’re wealthy. These thought-based statuses don’t exist in the world, they only in our imagination. That’s why one person can love something and another can hate it. They’re experiencing separate conscious realities, just like we all do.
My point is, we should stop believing all of this advertising about how we need to brand ourselves, and we should actually start looking at the world. Because people have never had more, and yet they’ve never been more stressed or depressed. People survived war better than wealth. This is ridiculous. And there’s evidence all over the place that it’s the generous people that are having the best time. They’re the ones smiling in life and then they have the huge funerals because they changed so many lives.
A friend of mine did her company Christmas charity event at her workplace. It was filled with a lot of professionals and their support staff. When it came time to collect for the charity, guess who gave more? The story upsets a lot of people; why are people making $24,000 a year giving more than someone making $250,000 a year?! But don’t get mad. The executives don’t understand how difficult $24,000 a year is. They’ve either forgotten or they never knew. So the lower paid people gave more because they had a greater sense of empathy. They knew how painful it was to be poor.
What is sad about that story is that the executives and professionals missed out on what makes giving so wonderful. There is no way to turn into words the beautiful glow and sense of connection we feel when we’ve been able to rescue someone with some object or gesture or commitment. Without question, the happiest most contented, durable people I know are also the most generous. Every time they do something generous they are reminded that they themselves have much more than enough.
Here’s a link to a story about a wonderful human being named Harris Rosen. Harris has had a great life and he’s done that by changing the lives of untold numbers of people. Below that I’ll link to a radio show about a Vancouver woman named Carol Newell, who managed to keep an amazing and remarkable secret from her fiance. Her story will stun you.
What these people prove is that you’re truly better off spending less time thinking about what you want and more time realizing how much you already have to give.
Stories like these two always leave you feeling better than you did before. Enjoy:
You’ll probably have to adjust the slide bar. For whatever reason it starts on the second segment. The portion on Carol is in the first segment. What a remarkable secret she kept:
A serious childhood brain injury lead Scott to spend his entire life meditating on the concepts of thought, consciousness, reality and identity. It made others as strange to him as he was to them. When he realized people were confused by their own over-thinking, Scott began teaching others to understand reality. He is currently CBC Radio Active’s Wellness Columnist, as well as a writer, speaker and mindfulness instructor based in Edmonton, AB where he still finds it strange to write about himself in the third person.