“Hate controls everything it touches, but love sets everything it touches free.” Why did I want to use that particular quote on this blog? Because that’s what this blog is—it’s about going deeper into the meanings. Too many people post these things without giving them serious thought. It’s like they want Drive-Thru service on their spirituality. Stop off, grab a quote, post it on social media and you’re off to the races. Nope. That’s not to say it’s hard though. But you do have to spend some time on it. It’s time you’re wasting anyway. I’ll demonstrate how as I talk about why I chose this quote.
So how does hate control everything? If you wake up after dreaming hateful dreams about your ex then you will be worn out before your day even starts. You spent the entire night using your dreams to cross-wire a bunch of negativity into your being. So hate has now touched how you physically feel when you wake up. You’ll notice that fact and you’ll ask yourself why, after which you’ll then remind yourself that you’ve been having hateful thoughts which have lead to hateful dreams.
Now you’re starting your day with your brain tilted in a negative fashion. As you ride transit, or walk or drive to work you’ll find people irritating or frustrating. You’ll be inclined to notice all of the things you disapprove of and you’ll ignore the more positive things that don’t match your mindset. You’ll fail to see the happy puppy in someone’s window but you’ll notice the overturned tricycle in their yard, and you’ll tell yourself some completely speculated chemically reinforcing narrative about how they’re irresponsible parents—just so you can keep your drug-flow going. You’re feeling hateful and it’ll be your subconscious objective to stay that way unless you intervene with open consciousness.
Your interactions with others will be hostile. You’ll assume the worst in anything anyone says. They’ll ask a question and you’ll hear an accusation. Some people will go for lunch together and you’ll view it as they left you out. Small things will irritate you. Each of these things has the chance to escalate. And that’s if you’re not continuing to add wood to the fire by thinking even more hateful thoughts about the ex. That’s like drinking poison in an effort to kill someone else.
No, what will free you and what will save your day at whichever moment you enact it, will be a conscious change. It will be when you actively choose to turn toward love. It’ll be when you use those ugly feelings as a signal that you’re engaged in ugly thinking. And having done that, you will then nurture more charitable and positive thoughts in an effort to return to love. Before long you’ll have shifted yourself considerably, to the point where you’ll see reasons to be happy instead of reasons to hate the world. Then, rather than blaming him for a small mistake that you could easily make too, you’ll remember that it is not your barista’s fault that your ex dumped you.
When you choose love—and it’s an actual choice you can make—you’ll see how it can transform your dealings with others and the world. When you love people they’re allowed to be themselves. They can make mistakes, they can occasionally be unfair or unreasonable and all you’ll remember is that sometimes you are those things as well. You’ll be gracious. You’ll be empathetic. You won’t want them to change you’ll just be sorry they feel they should. Without any judgments you can be present with people. And in doing that you will begin to lift them up. By joining people where it hurts we can rise with them to something better. But we must always start from a place of genuine love. We must be willing to be with them even in the heart of darkness.
Patience and trust will lead to wisdom. We should love people for 100% of who they are even though we know there is no way that 100% of them could be a perfect match for us. Each person is an individual so some friction points will always exist. But as long as those are easily outweighed by the intentional feelings of openness and joy then it’s irrelevant. Love is still the way.
Don’t let hate eat your days. Choose to have love infuse them with patience and kindness and joy. It’s up to you.
Following a childhood accident should have left him dead, Scott McPherson spent his life meditating on thought, consciousness, reality and the self. Seeing the emotional damage done by ego-based overthinking he began dedicating a part of his life to guiding students toward more peaceful and rewarding lives. He is currently a writer, speaker and mindfulness instructor based in Edmonton, Canada.