You want your life to be different. Do you see the problem? You want it. Wanting is a verb. It’s a spiral within yourself—like gazing half the day at a photo of something in a catalogue. Thinking about something that you do not have is what you are being. You are in the act of wanting.
If you actually want the thing in the catalogue you have to figure out the steps that might lead to you having it, and then if you feel they’re worth it you have to take those steps. Wanting to be healthier won’t do anything for your body. Finding enjoyable activities that improve your health are abundant. And many of them are social. So it’s time to stop wanting. It’s time to get out of our habitual thought-caves.
If you want more caring in the world; if you want more patience, tolerance, kindness and compassion—then demonstrate it. Make it the verb you become. Rather than experiencing want you can be compassionate. You can demonstrate patience and tolerance. You can simply be kind to a stranger. These are all forms of love. These are times when our thoughts are quiet and we are simply and truly being with someone. In that state, we are rich because we have nothing we want.
If you are expressing compassion you will feel the gentle warmth of compassionate feelings. If you are angry your body will tense up in its biochemical response to your thoughts. If you are patient you will be peaceful. If you are wanting the world to be different than it is—i.e. I wish this lineup would move faster—then you will feel disrupted, frustrated and upset.
What is good for you is good for the world. When you encourage enjoyable chemistry for your own experience you also happen to behave very generously. This can form an excellent feedback loop of love, as is often seen during the reactions to major tragedies. People forget divisions and they focus on enacting their love. Bridges are often figuratively and literally built that way.
Don’t look for love. Create it. The ability is entirely in your control. So Be it. It’s stunningly attractive, it’s highly enjoyable, and you’ll actually make the world a better place.
Scott McPherson is an Edmonton-based writer, public speaker, and mindfulness facilitator who works with individuals, companies and non-profit organisations locally and around the world.