You have a lot of different names for the resistance you offer the universe. You call them problems, or betrayals, or opinions, or judgments etc. etc. You’re so sure you know best, that you actually expect to control the entire universe. You say you don’t, but you act like you do. Because you get upset if it doesn’t go exactly the way you imagined. You think something’s gone wrong if reality doesn’t line up with your imagination.
Face it. It’s true. You can’t be free until you own the fact that you do that. Don’t pretend you don’t. If you truly didn’t, you would never have been reading this blog because it would have looked like a map to your own house. You read this for the A-ha! moments. You read this because you want your problems to go away. You want peace. And you think you’ll get peace in the absence of strife. But you can’t ever be completely absent from strife. And so the only way to be peaceful is to be okay with things that aren’t okay.
This can range from very small things to very major things. Yes, there are rules to the road that we’re supposed to follow. But if you’re expecting everyone to actually shoulder check and use turn signals and actually pay attention then you’re the crazy person. Clearly it would be safer but clearly that isn’t happening. So if you hit the road anticipating that everyone will do what they’re supposed to do, then you are setting yourself up for failure. You are resisting the reality that a large percentage of drivers are poorly skilled and many aren’t paying anywhere near enough attention. If you’re going to let that constantly exasperate you, then the only thing you’ll do is drive yourself crazy.
The universe is infinite. It includes everything—including the opposites of all of our ideals. And so those aspects of the universe are just as valid as the ones we prefer. So the world can be legitimately terrible for a period of time. Our job isn’t to work or pray or yell it into being a perfect place. Again, the world is made of opposites. The point is to be grateful for the ditches. For as bumpy and off course as they are, they nevertheless are the very thing that defines our own road to salvation. They point the way to smoother sailing.
Don’t waste time with a friend in a restaurant complaining about the wait staff when you could just as well be talking about the fun things you’ll be doing later that day. Life is made of those little choices, and too often we’re making poor ones about how to invest our consciousness for the limited time that we are here.
If you’re always talking about how things should have gone, then you’re offering an opinion or judgment or otherwise resistance to what either is or was. You are arguing with reality. It has unfolded or is unfolding, and you don’t like what you see. You reject it. You asked for decaf and she accidentally poured caffeinated. If you discuss that “mistake” as though it shouldn’t have happened, then your judgmental ego is offering resistance to what is and you absolutely will suffer for doing that. While your friend enjoys (or tries to) the taste of their food, you are still back 20 minutes previous, when the waitress took your coffee order. It’s crazy. Drop it. If there’s no upside, shut up to others and to yourself. That negativity will debilitate you and your relationships in the long term.
Allow the world to flow. Don’t take everything so personally. So many great things emerge from “tragedy.” If a big yard-swing didn’t crush my head when I was five, I wouldn’t be able to help people through my courses, speeches, coaching and writing. Lives and marriages have been saved because of that “horrible” day. So was it a good day or a bad day? Depends on when and who you ask. So it’s neither. It’s like a wave of potential that each of us can turn into our own individual particle of belief. And it will only survive for as long as we actively believe in it. So if I choose to look at my good fortune in being able to help you, then I am a happy and fulfilled person. But if I look at things I do not have, then I will feel a sense of want and scarcity.
Do not offer the universe your resistance. Do not think that you know which way you should go. In your life you’ve likely chose agonizing relationships, boring courses, untrustworthy friends, and jobs you hated. So since you’ve proven that you don’t know which directions are best, just go any direction, but go that way consciously. That’s the secret of connection. You stop thinking personal thoughts in favour of joining the flow via awareness and consciousness.
The universe is waiting for us. If we can stop complaining about how we want things to be, we’ll be free to listen to the universe as it brings us into contact with near infinite wonders for us to enjoy. We just have to stop resisting the whole process with our personal thinking. Quiet those words. Learn to simply Be. Don’t worry, it’s natural for you so it won’t be hard. You just have to practice. No resistance.
Following a serious childhood brain injury Scott McPherson unwittingly spent his entire life meditating on the concepts of thought, consciousness, reality and the self. This made him as strange to others as they were to him. Seeing the self-harm people created with their own overthinking, Scott dedicated part of his life to helping others live with greater awareness. He is currently a writer, speaker and mindfulness instructor based in Edmonton, AB, where he finds it strange to write about himself in the third person.