Okay, so we’re half way through the year and I’ll do something totally unlike the old ego-based me. The old me would never change a blog half way through the year. I would wait until the end of the year. Why?
This is a bit embarrassing, but the reason the old me would have been prevented from doing what he felt was right—my barrier—would have been the word “half.”
I totally do not blame you for thinking, Wha…???
Yeah. “Half.” Because you don’t stop half way. Half way isn’t all the way and it’s either all or nothing, right? Look, it doesn’t make sense to me anymore so I’m bad at explaining it. But I no longer care about calendars or where the Sun is in relation to the Earth, or what you’ll think of me blah blah blah. This is my life. I put a lot into this blog. This is how I care for all of you. But there’s a couple dates on a tombstone with a dash in between. That dash is our life. I do not want to spend that tiny little dash writing a blog that feels wrong to me just because I experimented with the Dear Abbey-esque format in response to a request to answer specific questions. Thoughts are not things. I cannot be jailed by barriers I volunteer to create in my imagination.
Readers have let me know that far more of you prefer the old format and the truth is I find it a bit more natural as well. So all signs point toward changing it back. It is kind of convenient that we’re half way through the year and the July 1st holiday was a re-blog, so that allows me to have this revelation and then start the second half of the year by fairly smoothly returning to last year’s format. I have a few blogs done that I’ll have to rewrite to some degree and of course I will continue to address concerns that are sent to me, but for the remainder of this year and for the foreseeable future I will be shifting the blog back to its original format.
So to make this more than just an announcement, let’s look at the differences between the old me who existed before I ever started this blog, the guy who couldn’t do this, and the “new” me who can. The old me needed to be impressive and I wanted praise and approval, so I had to start with conforming and then I had to extend myself to win the favour of others. The new me appreciates how short this dash of life is and I don’t want my precious moments ticking by with me doing something for you instead of something for me. Money, status, power—these are all illusions and I don’t care about winning an illusion. Freedom is found in realizing our true selves by being free of the ideas that shackle others to their manufactured, market-induced dreams. Without those hoops to jump through we’re free to go, be and do what whatever we choose. That’s living.
Forget conformity. Challenge the basic ideas that are presented to you. Don’t colour between the lines. Ask who drew the lines. You’re supposed to be responsible, but responsible to what? To a law? To some words? Or to our humanity? Or our ethics? Our morals? Do we respond to our nature, or process our nature through our word-based conceptual thinking? One creates tension the other relief.
There is no one you’re supposed to be. There are merely actions and the consequences of them. The human beings you deal with with be inconsistent, crazy, wonderful and absolutely worthy of your love. Forget trying to impress me or them and just be your most loveable self and we’ll let nature take care of the rest. I know that’s what I’m going to do with my life and with the blog. Enjoy!