Good morning everyone! I trust most of us remembered to set an intention to create a rewarding day, right after we woke up?
Okay. It’s Monday. And if we were to boil everyone’s challenges down to their essence, it’s that our egos all share a feeling of insecurity. ‘We’ seem too big, too free, too capable. None of us can believe we’re that person, so we think ourselves into little painful boxes instead.
All that being the case, today we will attack our boxes, rather than have our boxes attack us. Today is about reminding ourselves of our qualities:
Let’s each think of three people who like us. Friends or family, these are people taking their freedom and time and they are choosing to invest it with us. That means that they see value within us. So let’s answer this question:
What two qualities exist within our personalities that attracts and holds these people? And these have to be believable to us. We’re looking for the real reasons. If we can’t find them, we’re bailing too early. They’re always there.
Once we do find them, we should just take a moment to think about the fact that those qualities are what those people think of, when they think of us. That is who we are to them. Please take the time to just sit with that idea for a moment. Become comfortable with it.
Even if it’s a struggle to do and we don’t recall much detail, it’s still worthwhile for us to think back to a day where we felt absolutely awesome.
Try to think of the whole day. Let’s think of where we woke up, what our routine would have been. Was it set up to be an awesome day or did we stumble upon it?
If the latter, think about how unwitting we were about our coming good fortune. We want to think of that day in ways that we feel today. And by doing that, we prove to ourselves that those feelings were not conjured by the events, because they are not happening today.
Those good feelings, then and now, are coming from our positive thoughts about that day. And that logic applies to every day. Our days and our selves will always feel the way we choose to think about either. Always remember that.
Think of a time when we offered solace and comfort to someone else. Think about the fact that they were hurting, and we were in a position of having strength to offer. And think about how, out of all of the things our minds could have focused on, we chose them and their pain.
Our natural response to another person suffering was to try to ease the other person’s pain. Stop to think about that impulse. That arose within us without us asking it to. Recalling these events meditatively is valuable because the second look exposes that it the only reason that positive, nurturing, connected event even happened was due to our nature as a good and caring person.
We were naturally motivated to help, to be kind, and connected. That was not a posed, thought-based version of us. That was the real us, reacting in a natural way. We all need to own that person. That good person really is who we are.
Hard to believe isn’t it? That we’re all not broken, or wrong, or incomplete? That we’re not the sum of our mistakes?
Our thoughts are generally certain we’re faulty and unworthy. That’s how I do my job. I don’t have those thoughts about people, so I share what I see until you can yourself too. It’s like you have a dirty mirror and I clean it.
Those that work with me or that do these exercises do not get any power from me. I simply point to the fact that everyone reading this has unrealized potential for resilience, connection and capability. We are all better and more capable than we believe we are; it is time to actively dismiss our painful and limiting beliefs.
Welcome to the new year.
A serious childhood brain injury lead Scott to spend his entire life meditating on the concepts of thought, consciousness, reality and identity. It made others as strange to him as he was to them. When he realized people were confused by their own over-thinking, Scott began teaching others to understand reality. He is currently CBC Radio Active’s Wellness Columnist, as well as a writer, speaker and mindfulness instructor based in Edmonton, AB where he still finds it strange to write about himself in the third person.